


Welcome to the Forest: Surviving the Woods Queen Elsa Style

by Kea3



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies), Frozen 2 - Fandom
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Frozen 2 (2019) Spoilers, Humor, Movie: Frozen (2013), Movie: Frozen 2 (2019), Post-Frozen 2 (2019)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-18 16:07:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21580318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kea3/pseuds/Kea3
Summary: Elsa is a resourceful young woman, so the idea of living in the woods should be a piece of cake. Right? Unless nature is trying to conspire against her.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Anna/Elsa (Disney)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 96





	Welcome to the Forest: Surviving the Woods Queen Elsa Style

**Author's Note:**

> Because someone had to write it. Nope, not sorry at all. Only sorry I don't have a beta.

What a night. Elsa looks out from the tree she had been leaning on for the past half hour.  
Ahh, the woods. So woodish. So green so…nature and woods. Did she say woods? Elsa had to admit it had been crazy the last few days with everything that happened. Had anyone told her she'd be living in the woods by the end of the week well she might have frozen them to the floor. But no here she was free at last in the woods.

But hey at least she could stay in the woods. It was like camping right? Camping forever but without Anna…but she had the elements. Yes, the 4 elements…fun times. Only she didn't have any supplies but hey she survived a trek up the north mountain and those wolves. No wait that was Anna. It must be the sleep deprivation and lack of food. Wait didn't she do this before? Leave with no food? What was she going to eat? Ice? Ugh, all the stress from the last few days was hitting her at once.

  
Whatever. Here she was, awake at the crack of dawn. No sleeping in for this 5th element. And why up so early one might ask well because the sky was awake so Elsa must be awake. At least Anna got to sleep until 10 o'clock. Unless Kai got her up sooner. He did know she liked to hit right…? Oh well, he'd learn.

But it was good to get started. Trying to stand up was not so easy. Her leg must have fallen asleep. The only part of her that got a good night's sleep it seemed. But sleeping on the ground is so not good for your back. She pops it. Ice beds also not the best. She flicks off a bug on her arm, then another. Note: don't sleep near an ants nest. Lesson learned.

Pulling out a large leaf that she had collected the night before. Making a mental note to grab some paper and writing tools next time she was in town. Might as well document my time here. Most not forget to tell Anna everything. All this excitement and adventure she was having. So she had to make due with a little rock she starts to scratch out her daily schedule onto the leaf.

**Elsa's forest living**   
**Day 1: Wake up at dawn since the sky is awake so I'm awake. Wait, what?**   
**The ground is hard.**   
**I need a new leaf.**

That looked about right.  
Well now onto breakfast. She didn't have any coffee. And she forgot to grab some tea when she left. Maybe there was a mint plant or something that would make a good tea around here somewhere?

But after a half-hour of searching, she finds none. 'Nope poisonous plant, really poisonous, I have no idea what that is… ok, let's just go for water. Water is life. Nothing like a fresh cup of water to start the day.' She makes a little water cup with her powers ready to go get some water from the stream. 'Now let's try breakfast.'

She quickly writes that down onto a new leaf.

**Try to catch breakfast...**

Elsa looks around the clearing. There's nothing that looks edible. Kristoff once told her about eating moss… but that might have been a joke...right.  
No fruit trees or berries anywhere to be found. What kind of forest was this? A white fluffy rabbit hops into her line of sight and side-eyes her. Yeah no she wasn't going there.

**Leaf note: skip straight to lunch.**

I mean fire would be easy. The salamanders could do that. But she needed to catch something to roast. There was a stream. Maybe some fish? She and Anna had fished when they were kids. And who needed a pole when you had ice powers. Glancing at the crystal clear water. So crisp so clean…Slap ugh bug. Slap slap. Another bug. Great. At least I didn't fall into the water…

Now among the forest creatures who saw the whole ordeal, the story goes that the former queen looked like an octopus trying not to fall into the water. Arms flapping about wildly before finally slipping on the wet rocks before gravity kicked in... but again you didn't hear it from them.

After pulling herself out of the water, I mean one always could use a bath right. She had meant to do that. Really. It was a bath. She hadn't fallen in. Where was that damn water horse when you needed it?

But the 'bath' had scared half the fish population away with no chance of catching lunch. Even the bear on the other side of the stream was giving her this look of 'really? I just wanted to have my breakfast. Thanks for that.' Which begs the question where had that bear come from?

Limping towards her leaf pile while leaving wet footprints in her wake

**leaf entry: Swimming. Exercise is good.**

Yes, she was just working up an appetite that's all it was.

Ahhhh. So much clean air...

Achoo… wow, that echoed.

**Do I have allergies?**

Achoo Achoo… half the wildlife had fled by the time her sneezing attack was over 10 minutes later. Oh God was she allergic to nature? Or was nature conspiring against her?

Tissues need tissues. No tissues only the leaves. Wait is this poison oak? Do we even have poison oak in these parts of the woods?

Oh, wait its a magic woods so maybe yes.

Ugh, who knew she had allergies. But it's so clean and… oh no. Nature was calling. She spots a few leaves and prays they are not poison ivy and heads to the furthest tree.

*******Royal intermission*******

Yup, she was going to have a rash. She was sure of it.

And as if the forest was playing with her there in front of her was an apple just sitting on the ground. An apple just for her. So red and juicy. So temping so…foodish. Maybe this day wasn't going to be so bad after all… She dives for it and so does the squirrel. She trips over her feet or maybe it was the squirrel and proceeds to roll down the small hill into a bush with thorns. Lots and lots of thorns. The Apple rolling right past her into the mouth of another waiting squirrel. Did that squirrel just wave at her? She tries to send a few ice spikes at the fleeing rodent but it seemed to anticipate her every move. Well, there went dinner. Dinner? She hadn't even had breakfast, lunch, brunch or a snack yet?

Spending another twenty minutes pulling out the little thorns. Really? She was a queen, not a pincushion. And just her luck nature didn't have any chocolate.

Looking around the crispy clean forest. There was nothing to do. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She leans down well maybe she could… that's when her stomach gave the loudest growl she ever heard. And the worst part was something seemed to reply back in the distance. That can not be good.

**Left Entry: Climbed a tree.**

Yes, that sounded so much better than spending three hours hiding from a moose who was looking for love. Stupid hungry stomach.  
She had made a ladder of ice and climbed a tree, very, VERY fast. But tree's had bugs and was that an Owl?

Finally climbing down the ladder many hours later and finding herself tripping over a rock. Was that there before?  
Did that rock just move? No, no way. Unless I'm sleep-deprived and hungry. Nope, it moved. Maybe its a turtle. Turtle soup...No, not a turtle. Was that a troll? Why was a troll here? Ugh, those things are never helpful. Unless it has food or is food….?

**For dinner rock soup. Yum.**

Well, Kristoff always said when in doubt try rock soup. So she heats some water in a little frozen bowl she made and throws in some rocks. What would go wrong?

**I think I broke a tooth.**

Truth be told life's not so bad here… She had survived till sundown.

At least it's nice and dry and was that thunder. No, no way was it going to rain..No way in….

**The forest is trying to kill me!!!!!**

Yes, it was. Ok, maybe she was ever so slowly getting the hint.

Rain, nothing but rain for 6 hours straight. Sure Elsa made a little ice hut but then that damn owl kept calling. The crickets all had huddled into her hut and kept singing at all hours of the night. The frogs kept hopping onto her while she was trying to sleep. And did something just Moo in the background? How did a cow get in here?

Ugh, I miss my comfortable bed, my nice warm sheets. Everything is wet and damp and I miss my pillow. Leaves just didn't work. Achoo.

Opening her eyes she stares right at a frog who seems to have a questioning look about why a Queen would be trying to sleep on the floor talking to herself. At least the owl stopped whooping.

'Who". Ugh than again maybe not.

'Who'

"Can't say anything but who?" She finds herself yelling into the night.

A long pause.

Ahhh silence

And that's when the shrieking of the owls starts.

As it slowly becomes light she opens her eyes to find the largest bug she's ever seen watching her with its 80 eyes and 1000 legs….. and that's when it finally dawns on Elsa. What the HELL was a Queen doing in the woods!!!

**Day 1 1/2 ish : Home to Anna!!!! NOW**

To say Anna was confused by this odd wake-up call was an understatement. "Elsa What…?" Anna has to admit she's very worried. Elsa had popped into her bedroom before dawn. "Anna the sky is awake so I'm awake." Yeah, that was all good but really? She couldn't have waited until say 9?

All Anna knows is Elsa's standing there holding a large stack of leaves which she hands to her sister. Anna's not sure why she's getting leaves at an odd hour. Maybe it's a forest thing?

But Elsa looks awful. Her once white dress looks ripped and not so white anymore. She's dripping wet and is that a twig in her hair? Her sister's face is puffy, she sounds congested and her nose is running. Was that a limp? Her arms are red from what looks like bug bites mixed with some cuts.

Elsa takes a very regal stance which should look intimidating but the little caterpillar that's stuck in Elsa's hair is slightly distracting to Anna. And was that a frog on her shoulder?

Elsa clears her throat. "Anna. I have concluded that I will be living here with you from now on."

Anna just nods "In other words…?"

Elsa takes a deep breath "Worst decision I've ever made. There I've said it. I'm home. Now if you'll excuse me I need food, a bath, sleep, and medical attention. Not in the order."

"Medical attention…?" Anna can't help but mumble.

Anna can hear Olaf yelling out the window. "Kristoff, Sven Guess WHO's back!"

Elsa looks around in panic. "Did the owl follow me?"

Dear God what did the woods do to her sister? Anna just tosses her blanket to the side and gets out of bed. Elsa hadn't even been gone for a day. 

Anna just nods and holds her hands out to claim her sister down. "Its ok Elsa, its just Olaf. No owl."

Elsa just nods. "That owl needs to be kicked out of this kingdom."

Anna just nods. "Sure I'll get right on that." RIght, an Owl… like she didn't have other problems. "But Elsa I thought you wanted to live in the woods?" Anna sounds confused. Happy but very confused.

Elsa stands taller and takes a deep breath. "I'm home let us never mention this ever again. Now if you'll excuse me." She takes a whiff. "I think I need a bath. I'm starting to smell like a reindeer."

At least Elsa said it and not Anna.

Anna just nods…she'd hug her but that is a very pungent reindeer smell. Maybe later?

Elsa just nods and takes her leave until a voice travels down the hallway.

"Hey Elsa enjoy camping …..?" was the wrong thing to say…. by the sounds of Kristoff shrieks.

Anna just sighs and gets back into bed. It was so good to have Elsa home again.

  
A Queen living in the woods? What a joke.

Leaning back on her pillow Anna makes a quick mental note to send that owl a gift basket. Her sister was home. What more could she ask for?

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, Elsa but at least your home now. 
> 
> Thanks for reading my first Frozen fic.  
> Hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Based on this joke I wrote: Elsa's in the forest Day 1: Wake up at dawn since the sky is awake so I'm awake Wait what? The ground is hard. Try to catch breakfast... no luck skip straight to lunch. Ummmm bugs, Bugs BUGS. So much clean air... do I have allergies? Tissues no tissues so leaves. Wait that's poison oak. Dinner dinner oh stone soup. Yum. I think I broke a tooth. Bugs and owls. Ugh, no sleep. The floor hurts. I miss my pillow. Rocks suck. Was that a troll? Ugh, sheets. Day 2: Home to Anna!!!!


End file.
